To the Left

I'm in an eating mood. Must be the rain. I can't seem to get myself to go to the gym more than once a week. I'm pretending I'm going to make up for it in the summer, but we'll see. I'm so tired all of the time during the school year. Whatever. My clothes fit. I still look cute. Enough. I'm not really a fan, but Lily Allen had an interesting thing about being of normal weight and the pressures. I respect her for that. As long as she doesn't go and get all buff. I hate that. It's like when famous people who once had curly hair straighten their hair (Felicity! How could you? I meant Keri Russel. Who played Felicity on the TV show Felicity. Not Felicity Huffman. BTW- I am not checking to see if any of my spellings of famous people are correct. Anyway, she's a traitor).

Did anyone watch "The Game" last night? Didn't think so. Well, it all came to a head where the stupid boyfriend slept with someone else and hid girl found out. It sucked. That he did that, not that she found out. And then they played that Beyonce song I absolutely LOVE. I don't even know what it's called. I shall look now. It's called "Irreplaceable." I know, stupid title. It's about her catching some dude cheating and then kicking him out by letting him know he IS replaceable. For some reason I LOVE this song! I saw her sing it on some international music award, and she looked beautiful, all natural and casual. I'm not really for or against most of her songs , but I think I may actually pay for a download of this one. Right now. Ooh. I just watched the video on Yahoo music, and it's really good. She looks so pretty, and at the end she is backed by an all-female band. Very cool. "To the left. To the left..."

Idol top three on tonight. Yawn.

Smell Ya Later

I love a TV gimmick. The last time I bought a TV Guide was for the Medium 3-D episode (which was pretty scary). This week I bought one for the My Name is Earl smelly episode. I don’t even like the show, really. I do like some of the characters, particularly Joy and Crabman. But I’m not thrilled with the Jason Lee Scientology connection, nor how he looks pissed whenever he doesn’t win an award. Does he really think he’s that good? He’s not bad, but he’s really just OK in my book. And I’m sick of looking at his moustache. Does he have to have that thing for the duration of the show? Don’t get me started on Randy. He repulses me. He is so stupid and drooly. I really don’t believe that someone could be as stupid as his character. Now, am I supposed to believe he’s realistic, seeing as he’s on a sitcom and all? Probably not. But he’s such a doof, it’s not even fun to watch. For me at least. But I still bought the TV Guide. They got me. The problem was then I had to watch a super-sized episode of the show. Did anyone else have the smelly things? It was annoying. You had to “rub” the smells in order to release the scent, and then your finger stunk. It wasn’t very fun or interesting. But TV Guide got my money.

Does anyone watch Workout on Bravo? I couldn’t believe that Doug died. They built it up in a dramatic way in the previews, like something bad was going to happen, but I didn’t want to think… And then the day before the show aired I saw an ad where the announcer said the trainers were dealing with “Doug’s passing.” I wonder if they changed the ads because it wasn’t OK to build reality show drama about a real death. Sad.

And for our final TV show review, how about “Thank God You’re Here.” It’s not bad. They usually have good people on. But what is the deal with Dave Foley? He’s a long way from the Kids in the Hall. It doesn’t even look like him anymore. His forced smile while he watches the contestants hurts me. He’s probably laughing all the way to the bank.

Spammy Davis Jr.

So I said I’d report back on some funny spam names. These aren’t as funny as “Flossy Peterson,” but some recent senders are:

Glenn Villanueva
Genevieve Kincaid
Delores Hightower (funny because of the Police Academy connection)

Who is out there creating this stuff? Is it just random computer name placement? And who would actually open an email from these people?

I would also like to start putting links to clips on You Tube in my blog. These aren’t clips I uploaded to You Tube, but ones I’ve searched for (Who are these freaks that find an old Monchichi commercial and then think to upload it to their computer? The mind boggles). I have yet to really get into the homemade You Tube stuff (there’s so much of it!), although I did watch a dorky Dungeons and Dragons “spoof” (It was actually a group of D&D players that were making fun of themselves, but it would have been funnier to just watch them play the game). I have been searching for old clips and commercials of things I have on tape somewhere myself. I was a huge videotaper as a kid/pre-teen/teen. We had HBO and basic cable, and much of my childhood was spent recording and then watching repeatedly shows off of HBO, Nickelodeon and MTV. At this point I would never find the clips I want to watch on my tapes because I recorded them in the long-playing format (six hours). Six hours and a million tapes of crap. Anywho, I will now link you to one of my favorite cartoon shorts. You may have seen or heard it. It’s called “The Cat Came Back,” and was made by a Canadian (of course) named Cordell! Pure genius.

No Mo

I don’t want to write about American Idol today. The show is boring me. It is wasting my time. So I will talk about…

The weather! Last night it was so rainy and crazy. The rain was falling hard, and I was driving, and I was wondering if there was going to be a tornado. I have never seen a tornado in person. I am thankful for that, but I am also curious. The traffic was horrible, and I knew it was because the rain was falling so fast and there would surely be flooding. Lo and behold, I came to a long line of traffic that lead to a viaduct. The road was filled with water, and people were slowly pushing through it. When it was my turn, I was terrified. I did not want to be one of those morons they show on the news, floating in water because they thought they could get through without a problem. Most of the people driving through the water were in SUVs and trucks, which made me worry even more: would my little Civic make it? The water was spread out much further than I thought, but I started pushing through. I didn’t know how much to accelerate because I still wanted control of the car, but I didn’t want to underaccelerate and get stuck. Twenty seconds later (um, I completely made up that estimate) I made it through! My car made a crazy noise, but it was OK. I heard on the news this morning that the very same viaduct now has eight to ten feet of water under it! How is that even possible?

The sun is out now, the birds are chirping, and I’m counting the seconds until Spring Break.

Idol Uglies

I should have blogged last night, because I was whipping out the one-liners during Tuesday Night Idol. Oh well. I normally don’t vote (the last time I did was for Kelly Clarkson, I think. Maybe I voted for Elliott last season), but I thought I’d try last night. I don’t care enough to try and get through, since the line is always busy. But last night I decided to vote for Lakisha. What I did was start calling right when they showed her number- NOT after the show ended. And guess what? Some guy said, “Thank you for voting for contestant number eight.” So you CAN vote before the show ends! I tried to vote again, and couldn’t get through. Shifty.

Click here for a list of contestants with pictures. My least favorite contestant is Phil Stacey. He repulses me. I don’t know why the repulsion is so strong, but I can’t stand to look at him. His voice is “easy-listening” (according to Matt), but it’s his lack of hair that kills me. It’s one thing to be bald naturally, but he chooses to look like that. It’s hideous! He’s hideous! And it’s just as bad when he wears a hat, cocked to the side. I wish I could vote against someone so I could get his fake shiny head off the show.

Funniest observation from last night: Matt said that Chris Sligh looks like a grown-up version of that kid in The Wedding Singer who Drew Barrymore dances with at the bar mitzvah. (I couldn't find a picture to link.) You know what I’m talking about.

TV Glug

What is the deal with TV boring the crap out of me? American Idol must STOP. Why does it have to be on three nights a week? Why must my husband watch at least two of those nights? It’s so boring to me now. I need more of a distraction these days. Monday nights are the best night on TV, followed by Thursday. Mondays have Antiques Roadshow (which I watch at 7:00 on Milwaukee Public Television) and then Girlfriends at 8:00. I freakin’ love Girlfriends. I have been watching it for years. I love the characters, think it’s mega funny, and like how realistically they deal with certain things. I don’t miss Tony Childs at all. She was nasty and mean. Gorgeous, though. I hope there’s a new episode on tonight.

Thursday nights on NBC are half and half for me. I do not care for My Name is Earl. It may be the Jason Lee/Scientology connection, but I am also disgusted by Earl’s brother, Randy. And not at all in a funny way. He’s just stupid and gross. I love The Office, but then Scrubs annoys me. JD is also icky, but in a whinier, wussier way than Randy. I love Turk and Carla, so sometimes I watch. My new fave show is 30 Rock. I have always loved Tracy Morgan (the Halpern women think he’s HILARIOUS), and the show is just really funny. Last week’s episode had me howling. Tracy Morgan as Oprah? Now that’s comedy!

Office Lowdown

So what does everyone think of last night’s Office? It’s weird, but I don’t think most of my friends watch the same TV shows that I do. I think it’s because they have mega cable, and I do not. I am not liking Jim lately. I used to like him a lot, and even had dreams with him, but he’s just a wishy-washy, camera-looking, sports-loving dude. We knew Pam’s guy (whose name escapes me) was a butt, and I liked his violent streak that made Pam leave him. It made sense. I hope he does kick Jim’s ass. He needs a little shaking up.

It’s supposed to snow again this weekend. I am happy it’s the weekend because that means I don’t have to drive to work and spend two hours each way in the car, but I still don’t want to deal. I’m ready for spring.

I’m excited to get Sunday’s newspaper (although they didn’t deliver it last Sunday. I didn’t call, though. I probably should have). It will have ads for sales on the new Sims 2 Seasons- out Tuesday!!! I’m very excited. I wish I didn’t have to work so I could play all day long. Next weekend, I suppose.

PS I wrote this before the weekend, but forgot to post it until Sunday night.

Snow Day!!!!!!

I knew it was going to snow today, and I knew it was going to snow during the morning commute. Therefore, I did not sleep last night except for a few fitful dreams about snow. You see, my commute is between 45 minutes and an hour without snow. With snow, it would be at least two hours, not to mention the awful anxiety and stomach pains the drive would cause. The snow reports said the snow would start at midnight and snow through noon. High winds and accumulation were guaranteed. I could not drive in this. It would not be worth my health and safety.

I was up at 4:30 am waiting for the TV news to begin. For over an hour, I watched the school closing reports run along the bottom of the screen. At first, all of the schools listed were the Catholic schools. I checked my district's website and kept the phone close to my head, in case they made the fateful snow day call. Matt was sweet and watched the news with me. Thankfully, he had today off. he takes every other Friday off to do illustration work (and works longer hours on his other work days). Finally, at 5:50 am the phone rang. I was already screaming with joy at the sound, and then came the funny recorded message from our superintendent. It is one of the best feelings in the world. You don't have to be a kid to enjoy a snow day :)

Degrassi is My Family

As many of you know, I have been a fan of Degrassi since they showed us the original first Degrassi Junior High episode back in 1987 at Cooper Junior High. I watch the new eps, and love them all. The-N.com (the cable channel that shows the new Degrassi) has a quiz to find out which family on their shows is most like your family. I took the quiz, and check it out:


Of course my family would be from Degrassi! And not just any Degrassi family- the one with the parents from my old skool Degrassi! Snake and Spike!

OK- this probably means nothing to anyone reading this, but I'm psyched.

Disappointments...

Yesterday, while not a bad day, was filled with minor disappointments.

1. I saw Flushed Away, and I enjoyed it very much, except for the fact that THEY DID NOT HAVE THE SLUGS SING Everybody Dance Now. That was totally the reason I wanted to see it! That looked so funny! It turns out that was only for the promos. You can see it online. Here is the link, for anyone as interested as I. And who knows why I am so interested? Damn that's funny.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7099070886331888562&q=flushed+away

2. There should have been a new episode of Degrassi on last night, so I went to my parents' house to watch (because they have the good cable), and The N (the channel it's on) didn't work!!! All night!!!

3. So instead, we all watched four hours of VH1's top songs of the 80s. I'm a sucker for VH1's countdown shows. If I had VH1 I would never leave the house. And after four hours, what song was number 1? Hmmmm? Freakin' Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer. As if! Total letdown. Check out the VH1 page if you want to see some of the interviews and videos from the show. I know I will. I'm an 80s fool. Never mind about the damn clip. I can't find it on the site. How unuseful.

Happy Thanksgiving (if I don't write before then).

TV Stinkbombs

Hello. I am disillusioned by the poo on TV these days. I still miss Buffy. I'm trying to watch the Gilmore Girls, but I don't love Lorelei. Why is she still so immature? How can she lose Luke and fall in love with her (very gay-ish) ex so soon? And what is up with Degrassi? Does anyone out there watch the new episodes (Beth?)? Darcy is a skank Christian Ho. She was all righteous, and now she's taking off her clothes for internet pervs? I watched an online mini doc about filming that episode, and there were all of these old dudes filming this teenage girl stripping. How do they sleep at night knowing they're making, essentially, kiddie porn? They probably sleep quite nicely, actually.

Project Runway- blah. Jeffrey is a butt. None of them were all that interesting, although I liked Uli's clothes. They better make next season a nice season or I'm walking away. No more Runway for me. But what then? Oh! And for some reason, the Milwaukee episodes of Antiques Roadshow (which I will hopefully be on)are not going to air until FALL 2007!!! That makes no sense! Milwaukee was not the last stop on the tour, so why is it pushed back until the next season? Click here for the weird details:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/roadshow/series/tvschedule.html#season11

Matt and I are off to a pumpkin farm today in Wisconsin. I love that we live so close to another state. It feels like we're on vacation. Too bad it's so crud out. Oh well.

Eyes on the Prize

I had to see an eye doctor today. Turns out I have cysts on my eye. They could go away by themselves, or I can voluntarily have them taken off. Yeah. That will happen. I wish I weren’t so afraid of doctors. It seems to get worse as I get older. I think it's because I like to know what's going on. I like to be prepared. But doctors never have time to explain things, and even when they do, it's not like I could then do it to myself. Does that make sense? Probably not.

What the hell is wrong with Maria Shriver? She looks like an absolute freak. I heard some guys on the radio call her Skeletor. And she's on The Insider right now talking about trying to maintain her weight. She is repulsively skinny. I hope she's OK. Ugh.

Project Runway. It’s off the air for one week, and I’ve already forgotten. I have to find a new show to be in love with. I’m leaning towards Gilmore Girls, even though I don’t agree with Lorelei’s boozing ways. Still, it’s no Buffy. I hate living in a world without a new Buffy episode every week. It’s just not right. I should be happy that a new season of Degrassi starts this weekend, but I still have a little bit of creepiness about enjoying a show about teenagers so much.

Enough of the rambly ramblings. There’s a story coming up on The Insider about M’onique that I can’t miss. I love her. Of course, The Parkers is off the air…

TV!TV!TV!

I am trying really hard (ie. not very hard) to work on my novel revision, but Roseanne is on. I just love this show. It's realistic and funny and sad. John Goodman is truly my favorite actor. This is my last day of freedom (my work contract starts tomorrow), so I might as well get rid of my guilt. If that were only possible.

Sooooo- Project Runway. Last night's show was very upsetting. I think it was a bad idea for the producers to bring family members on the show, and even worse for them to make others design for them. People were mean, and no one's family members need to see their children being insulted by obnoxious design people. It took away a lot of the show's fun. They better make up for it next week.

Tobin is on my lap, purring while I type this. I will definitely miss this when I go back to work. He is so mellow and sweet in the morning. At night, he gets the crazy attack bites. Today will also be my last day of official vacation hang-out time with my mom. We have had such a wonderful time together this summer. We even went to the Jelly Belly Factory in Wisconsin! It was tasty and fun. I bought Matt roasted garlic flavored jelly beans (which I later regretted because they made his breath smell like a garlic tire. I forced him to brush, floss, and use Listerine that night).

I am now going to turn off the TV for a half hour so I can work on my book. Can I do it???

Degrassi Dreams

I seriously cannot stop thinking about moving to Degrassi Street. Am I psycho? Is it because I am in the weird window between the end of summer and school starting and I need something to fixate on? But I'm already fixated on revising my novel and redecorating the library and... Wait. Maybe I'm not at all fixated on those things, or at least I'm trying hard not to fixate on them, and so I'm fixating on a wonderful fantasy, a la Degrassi Street?

Toronto was so wonderful. Matt and I are already talking about going back. Every restaurant is vegetarian friendly, the transportation is so easy (albeit not cheap), and the cable TV is funny. What more could one ask for in a city?

So who has seen Snakes on a Plane? I would like to see it in the theaters, as I think it will be a nice item to talk about with my students. We'll see if I can convince Matt.